you

I keep coming back to you
Whenever and wherever i am
I keep coming back to you

You are the first
The one that i loved this way
And you are the last
That I gave my heart away
At least, I hope

And I need to stop hoping
Hoping for you to return
Hoping for you to stay 

Because the moon never stay

Because the stars that shine
And the nights it shone
Will disappear when dawn rise
Oh how i wish it won't

So let me weep
My tears flow
Let me cry my eyes out
And howl and sorrow

And then leave my heart
Broken and shattered
For me to pick up
And put together

But leave me alone
Make me realise
Make me see
Make it known

That you are not mine
That you will never bend
That it never last
That dreams need to end

Maybe when i wake up
It will all fade away
But like every good dream
I hope the memory stay

I'll try

I've forgotten you
And remembered you
And forgotten you.
And I couldn't stop myself from falling over you again and again.
Even when I try not to.
Even when I knew you wouldn't fall for me.

I tried.
And failed.                  
And I don't know what else to do.
Everything I did only makes it harder.
Until now.
At least it would be easier.

I will stop.
Everything.
I wont contact you anymore.
And if you truly care for me,

Help me.

Help me bury you deep in my mind.
Help me leave you as an echo.
An echo that will fade away.
And someday maybe we will meet again.
And maybe I have already lost this feeling at that time.
Then I will not be burden by this.
Maybe we could start over then.
As friends.
Nothing more.

Or maybe we will never see each other again.
And I will fight this feeling everyday.
And pushing you away every time you resurface.
So that I may fight again tomorrow.
And the day after.
And the day after.
Until the day I no longer couldn't.

I am sorry for being selfish.
Maybe this will mean something to you.
Maybe you will discard this letter and carry on with your live.
Whichever it is, its up to you.        
And I will stick to my decision        
For whats best for me.
Therefore I will leave on a more friendly note.

Thank you for all the years of our friendship.
Forgive me for every mean words and
Wrong doings that I have done to you
Please don't tell our friends what or why i did this.  
I will try to limit my time with them.  
So you would have more without them being awkward.

And if I wont see you again, I hope this words will suffice.
Certain things in life you cannot control.
This being the very first example.
But I'll try

Phone Call

Life away from home is hard.
Especially when youre alone.
With no friends.
Familiar faces.

Even after making new friends.
Youll always be looking out.
Waiting for the phone to ring.
A news from home.
Joy to the ears.

Especially from that one person.
Who meant more that you could say.
Whose heart heavied the most.
For you to leave behind.
And you stayed up talking to them.  
Neither wanted to say goodbye.

So you just talks and talks.
Until you runs out of things to talks.
And you just stay there.
Feeling each others presence.
Even few miles apart.
Yet at that moment.
At that instance.
You are together.

civilization

Civilized.
Advanced.
Developed
Another word for uniform.

A civilized country.
Robbed of its uniqueness.
Its cultures lost.
Defined only by its uniformity.

Whole nation full of mind.
Forced to think in one way.
To never deviate.
In fear of exile.
Of poverty.
But poverty is liberty.
Liberty to thrive.
To lead.
Not follow.

In a fully advanced world.
There are no culture diversity.
No different accent.
No vast tradition.
Only singularity.
Simple, narrow minded.
No identity.

Why did people prefer civilization?
I haven't had the slightest idea.

Then and now

Then i was happy.
I was free.
I was flying.                                    
Breezing through with out a care.  
Never wanting to land.
Never wanting to leave.  

Now i am not.
I am bound.
I am grounded.
Kept yanking my chains.
Kept pulling out.
Kept trying to vacate.
 
Then i was appreciated.
Aside people i cared about.
Aside people i know.
Then i was together.                                      

Now i am neglected.  
Aside strangers.
All around me.
Now i am alone.
 
Then i was making memories.
The very best of them.
Now i am forgetting them.
Forgetting this nightmare

Then i was satiated.
Relished.
Full of enjoyment.
Now i am hollowed.
Gauged out.
Left to fade.

Between then and now.
Then.
Always.

Anywhere

I dont like it here.
Its dark.
And gloomy.
I dont want to be here.

I dont like it here.
There are monsters nearby.
They wear fake masks.
And they have fake voices.
Try to show that they are full of life.
But deep down the re empty.
Nothing but shells.

I dont like it here.
There are better moments.
Better companion.
Better friends.
Why am i not with them?

I dont like it here.
I wish i was with them.
I wish i was anywhere.
Anywhere but here.

Our Moments.

Moments defines us.
The sad ones.
The happy ones.
They molded us into what we are.
They shaped us into beings.
And the best of them are hard to came by.

The moment in the river.
Where we played.
And we laughed.
Just the best.

The moment on the beach.
Under the starry night.
On the crib nettings.
Breeze of the winds.
Accompanied by friends.
By loved ones.

And we talked.
And we play.
And we teased.
Like there are no worries.
Like we have no care for the world.

The best moments are rare.
The moments we are together.
They never really leave.
They stayed in our memories.
Our moments.

Those will never be forgotten.
Till the day I die.
I would never forget.
That I have such amazing friends.
Because you guys are my moments.
Because you guys defines me.