Then and now

Then i was happy.
I was free.
I was flying.                                    
Breezing through with out a care.  
Never wanting to land.
Never wanting to leave.  

Now i am not.
I am bound.
I am grounded.
Kept yanking my chains.
Kept pulling out.
Kept trying to vacate.
 
Then i was appreciated.
Aside people i cared about.
Aside people i know.
Then i was together.                                      

Now i am neglected.  
Aside strangers.
All around me.
Now i am alone.
 
Then i was making memories.
The very best of them.
Now i am forgetting them.
Forgetting this nightmare

Then i was satiated.
Relished.
Full of enjoyment.
Now i am hollowed.
Gauged out.
Left to fade.

Between then and now.
Then.
Always.

Anywhere

I dont like it here.
Its dark.
And gloomy.
I dont want to be here.

I dont like it here.
There are monsters nearby.
They wear fake masks.
And they have fake voices.
Try to show that they are full of life.
But deep down the re empty.
Nothing but shells.

I dont like it here.
There are better moments.
Better companion.
Better friends.
Why am i not with them?

I dont like it here.
I wish i was with them.
I wish i was anywhere.
Anywhere but here.

Our Moments.

Moments defines us.
The sad ones.
The happy ones.
They molded us into what we are.
They shaped us into beings.
And the best of them are hard to came by.

The moment in the river.
Where we played.
And we laughed.
Just the best.

The moment on the beach.
Under the starry night.
On the crib nettings.
Breeze of the winds.
Accompanied by friends.
By loved ones.

And we talked.
And we play.
And we teased.
Like there are no worries.
Like we have no care for the world.

The best moments are rare.
The moments we are together.
They never really leave.
They stayed in our memories.
Our moments.

Those will never be forgotten.
Till the day I die.
I would never forget.
That I have such amazing friends.
Because you guys are my moments.
Because you guys defines me.

Rest Now

Rest now.
You have been brave.  
You fought for so long.
Fallen yet you rise back up.
Time and time again.
You have prove your worthiness.
You may not be a warrior.
But you are a hero.

Rest now.  
You have earned it.
A battle is never lost until we quit.
And not even a whimper escaped from your mouth.              
Frowns on your brow but still you stay.
Still you fight.

Rest now.
Your battles are over.
Wear your scars with pride.
Held your chest up high.
Its your rights.
You are among champions.

Rest now.
Place your armor.
Lift your helmet.
The times of war is over.
The pains have gone away.
You dont have to feel it ever again.

Rest now.
Dawn is almost upon us.
It has been a long and weary night.
A new day awaits you.
Enjoy it.

Rest now.
Relish your freedom.
We'll be joining you soon.
Rest now.

~for her~

Water

I am water. 

Flowing in a river downstream. 

Following the path that I fall upon. 

Through the cracks and crevices. 

Trying desperately to return. 

To return to the ocean. 

To join the other. 

To never be alone again.

I am water. 

Streaming along the path others has taken before. 

Along the path others has set upon me. 

To follow and to never deviate. 

Or break free and got lost. 

Lost away from home.

I am water. 

Thrusts and turns and fall painfully. 

Choked yet I still flow. 

Breaks yet I still run. 

To reach the ocean full of others.

I am water. 

Finally reaching the estuary. 

Finally joining the other. 

Finally free from isolation.

I am water.

In the ocean.

Along the current.

Where they want me to be.

Fitting in. 

Here, I am the same.

Here, I do not stand out.

Here, I am indifferent.

I am water.

And I have never been so alone. 

...

It’s raining again. It’s been going on for three days now. All sunny up until noon, then pouring down by the evening. I didn’t go to work today. The guys give me a few days off after ... you know. 

I made a couple of hot chocolates. Do you remember the one you loved? Hot chocolates with some cream on top finished with a marshmallow? I made two of them. Placed one by your bedside. Hoping you would come back. Hoping none of this is really. Just a dream.

I layed in bed all evening. Covered until my neck. The blanket doesn’t feel right. The warmth doesn’t feel right. Not without you beside me. I don’t know how I’ve lived all those years before I met you.

How could you leave me?! All alone in this world? The first day you were gone, it strike me like a punch in the guts. My world shatters. You are the only one who could understood me and still loved me. And no one could replace that.

Well. I guess you couldn’t help it. No matter how much you wished to stay, the decisions was not in your hand. Nor mine. I just wished I could spent more time with you.

Your parent called. They asked me to come home and spend the rest of my break with them. Maybe I will though. 

‘It was hard for all of us’ your mother said. You depart so sudden. What would I do without you?

I will still hold on to the promise i made back in the hospital. That I would not follow you if you leave. That I would try to live out my life. So I will. I will try to pick up the pieces. Join them together and hold on. But, without you, I don’t think I will get that far.

Life is harsh. There was no one to blame for this. The doctors did their best. Only it was your time to go. So, I’ll be waiting down here. Trying to live my remaining life. Waiting for my turn. And then I will join you. Just you wait. 

The Cost of Peace

　　In the presences of a catastrophe people frantically search for a light of hope. No matter how much of a glimmer it is. It falls, the responsibility, to the one around them to console them. To stick together. To pull through.
　　
　　Give them the right encouragement, any human can rise up to the occasion that will do you wonders. It make’s us ask ourselves, what are we made of? What are humans made of? Is it love? Is it compassion? Is it the ability to tolerate even the highest form of destruction and still rise up?
　　
　　It is our strength. Our strength in unity. Alone, we are weak. Undefended. Vulnerable. But together? Together we are strong. We are titans. Mights of our strength combined, making us invincible.
　　
　　When someone falls, we help them rise up. We do not kick them down. We do not leave them wounded. We believe in them. We fight for them. Tooth to nails. Though we do not have claws, we will still strike.
　　
　　But the only problem is, who is the enemy? Who do we fight? Who do we throw ourselves at in order to save our comrades? Without a common enemy, all humanity will not stand together. We need a villain.
　　
　　We need someone to strike first. We need someone to draw the first blood. In order for us to come together and retaliate. We need someone that they would do everything in their power to vanquish. Together.
　　
　　This is why these events have unfolded. If this letter is received, know that it is not of our intention to defy our kind. It is out of necessity. The need for us to come together. To rise up and unite.
　　
　　That is why some of us has took the role of the villains. Everyone wants to be batman. No one wants to be the joker. Not even us.
　　
　　Should this letter have passed to you, now you know why what happens, happens. And I hope, for the best interest of all mankind, that you burn it. Destroy every copy you have of it. Continue with your life. And pray that none shall know.
　　
　　We accept our doings as wrong. But given any chance, we will still choose this path. It is a heavy price to pay. The cost of peace.