You are my heart. You are my soul. Those are the words that i could not possibly express towards you. My tongue betrays me whenever my heart gathered the courage to say it. And my heart failed me too much time.
The heart is a fragile thing. It can be molded, moulten, strengthen to the very limit. But it can easily be broken with beauty. Beauty that were expressed by you. Beauty in your eyes, your smile.
I know that you had many friends. Many companions to last a lifetime or two. Not enough space for me. But, deep down, i craved for a spot in your heart. Because you always have been in mine.
He was n’t a good man. He does n’t love you. Not the way i did. Never close. But i never had the guts to tell you that. Although whenever i tried, you never listened. You were mad in love. Just not with me.
When i received the invitation, i was devastated. Heart-broken. To the very limit and beyond if ever possible for my heart. I cried for days. But still managed a smile just for you. Even though the man beside you was not me.
Yet life still manage to find a way to break my heart even more. The cancellation overjoyed me. I saw a glimmer of hope. He betrays you. You come to me for comfort. I do my very best for you.
I nurtured you. Help you get up on your feet. Help you to forget him. But not with me. Never with me. I just want you to figure it out by yourself. I was stupid. I was naive. I should have just say it to you. The words that you wanted to hear from me. You are my heart. You are my soul. But you are not mine. Because of my mistake.
Within months, you found yourself another man. A man with courage to express the words for which I never expressed. I thought i had time. When you came to me with the news, you were expecting something. But as stupid as I am, I never did gave you what you want.
The second invitation came. I did n’t read it. Never could gather the courage. Not again. The move did n’t really help. The new air does n’t do much good to this mind. Because everywhere i see reminded me of you.
The sight of the pavement reminds me of our little stroll every Thursday evening in the park. The smell of lavender reminds me of your hair shampoo. I never could get you out of my mind. The hold you have on me is too strong. The knots are to tight for me to break.
I guess this was inevitable. I could not enjoy anything in life anymore. Not without hurting my self. Better to end it here. If this note came to you as an inconvenience, forgive me. I never could get the timing right.
I hope you are happy. I really do wish that for you. From the bottom of my heart. But if i may trouble you with one question. One last query before i bid you farewell. If I had been brave enough, if I had the courage to tell you that i loved you, would you love me back? Cause i think i know the answer
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